survey

i thought i was gonna do a survey, but i really hate doing them. who's gonna read it anyway? i guess it could be cool to look back on for my own entertainment.

but now i'm getting into some deep thinking (which i hate sometimes...)
i for starters don't really know who i am. i can't sit here and define myself and give specific details. i feel like i'm a complicated person. but i've read some zodiac descriptions of what a scorpio is and they're pretty dam acurate... i probably won't know who i really am until i'm like 32? but when does a person really know who he/she is? is it the time when they can say they have the same personality like everyday? the same interests, needs, and wants everyday? the time when they can specifically say what they like and don't like everyday?

in the future... my life at UW even though it's only an hour away from home... where my friends are.. ughh... that's my issue, my friends... i'm just so satisfied with them that i don't wanna lose them.. i don't want to drift away... i don't want things to change.. i don't want to be left out... but it'll happen and then i'll have other friends but i definitely don't want them to feel like they're replaced... that's why when i graduate imma post IRREPLACABLE friends on all over... a new look. =] i want my friends to see me grow as a person and still care for me and be proud of me... they're seriously really important to me... i don't want them to ever think that i forgot them... the ones that i'm thinking of most are elaine, christina, lee, kenney, taa, alexis, roxy, kim, sarah, kind of denise.. and blah... i just don't want to be forgotten.. and i know i'll feel jealous cuz they're all down here and they'll be kickin' it and ish and i wont' be a part of it but that's something that duhrr.. i accept and can't avoid so yeah. i'm pretty mature on thinking that...

but anyways, is it time to move to seattle yet? =p

RIP MAXIMINA FERRER.

Yesterday, September 01, 2005, my grandma past away... i know that she's in a better place and is watching over everyone who she loves and in return loves her. i know that she lived a great life.. a long and happy one... her life wasn't cut short, she was blessed with every day God gave her to live.. and with that she had an admirable, loving husband, 11 children, a lot of grandchildren, caring friends.. everything that makes life meaningful. my grandma is a strong woman, a wonderful mother.. i believe she was 76 years old... she's incredible... The memories i've had with her and Tatay and just everyone has and always will remain in me.

when i went to visit in CA and went to the hospital to see her...the first time we went there, i didn't know what to expect... but yeah just seeing her smile made my day and touched my heart... i'm just so glad that we got to see her... it's almost like she was waiting for us... out of my family i was the last one to see her because before we left to go back to WA, i went back to her room to give her a golden Rosary... but there's this one day that i'll never forget: when i was kissing her good-bye because i was leaving with i think Angela, she said "ang ganda si melissa"... i'm not sure if that's the exact line.. but it's something along those lines.... =]

well... i know that everyone misses her and loves her but she's in heaven now... everyone has an angel looking down on them... we love and miss you Nanay.

I'll be down in California once again for about a week to attend the viewings and her funeral... i've never experienced this... never been to a funeral... i don't know what to expect... i don't even know what to say...

but yeah it's life... and for me... i just hope i'll be able to live a long life with many experiences... yep... live life to the fullest... do what you want.. strive for the best.. reach ur goals... experience what u want... find that special someone.. and i don't even mean just a husband.. even just like boyfriends.... avoid regrets... follow ur heart =] sure life isn't always the good stuff.. even the bad stuff is okay.... break-ups, heartaches, failure, disappointment.. blah... it's life.. live it... cherish it, take advantage of it...

well here's a pic from Feb. 1998 at my grandpa and grandma's 50th Golden Anniversary

survey cuz i'm bored!!!!

Spell your name backwards: ASSilem
Glasses/Contacts: none
Pets: fish from Haizel's debut which was like 2 and half years ago
You get embarrassed: nah not really, i laugh it off
What upsets you: not having anything to do
Where were you born: Germany
Wearing: sweats and a Bethel Shirt
Like to do: go out and hang out with my friends

LAST...
Movie you rented last: that was a long time ago so i don't remember & we don't have a blockbuster account
Movie you watched: War of the Worlds
CD you bought: i think Ashley Simpson oh wait i lie.. Maroon 5 in the PI
Song that stuck in your head: wow i actually don't have one at the moment
TV show you've watched: Celebrity Showdown on VH1
Person you were thinking of: BGF cuz i just read his away message lol
Noise you heard: my sister and her video games
Smell you sniffed: my mom's room
Time you went out of state/province: last summer

DO YOU...
Have a crush on someone: not sure anymore
Have a best friend(s): YEP!! i <3 them =]
Wish you could live somewhere else: yeah. doesn't necessarily mean out of state tho just not here.
Believe in online dating: for others it works but for me, it's not my style
Think others find you attractive: ehhh.. *shrug*
Like cleaning: sometimes
Like roller coasters: yessirrr

PERSON WHO LAST...
Slept in your bed: me, myself, and i... oh and Pochacco =P
Saw you cry: no one
Made you cry: Christina (it wasn't a bad thing tho)
You went to the movies with: Roxy, Tara, Kenney, & xChris
Yelled at you: uh probably my mommy
Sent you an email: i don't know, haven't checked my e-mail in a while cuz i'm lazy
Do you have any nieces or nephews: uhh... nope?
Are your parents divorced: NO
Do you have step parents: NO

MUSIC STUFF...
What song do you swear was written about you or your life: "smile," "more than friends," "when will it be"...... that's what i think right now at least
Do you sing in the shower: yeah when i feel like it or have music on in there too
What song reminds you of that special someone: "say you'll stay" & "all my life"

HAVE YOU EVER...
Been to a foreign country: yep. i was born in one! hAh.
Broken a bone: nahhh
Loved someone so much it makes you cry: i don't know if it was loved but yeah almost did cry...
Swallowed a tooth cap/filling: nahh don't think so.
Sworn at a teacher: never
Got in a verbal fight: mmm.... i don't remember, even if i did, don't think it was serious
Laughed so hard you peed your pants: umm dunno but i've farted! HAHA
Told a little white lie: yep.
Been on TV: yes
Been on the radio: yes
Dated one of your best friends: nope
Been on a talk show: nahh
Been on a game show: nope but i want to... imma kick ass and win hella money!
Been on an airplane: yes
Got to ride on a fire truck: a fire truck in like the carnival
Gave someone a piggy back ride: yes
Had a dream that you're falling: yeah! and then i twitch
Had and eating disorder: no
Felt like you didn't belong: yes
Felt like the 3rd wheel: yes
Been arrested: nope
Had your tonsils removed: no
Gone to camp: yes
Won a bet: yes
Gotten a speeding ticket: no
Done jail time: no
Ever thrown up in Public: yes
Bowled a perfect game: i'm the best bowler in the world. yeh right.
Thought of suicide: once.

WHAT...
Shoes do you wear: i wear a lotta diff. shoes. NIKE, PUMA, CHUCKS... +more
Scares you: ? sometimes bugs, dogs, driving by semi's

NUMBER...
Of times my name has appeared in the newspaper: i don't keep count
Of scars on my body: i dunno.
Of things in my past that I regret: too many to count? that's sad. maybe i'm exaggerating.

DO YOU THINK YOU ARE...
Pretty: ehhh.. sometimes.
Funny: i make people laugh.
Friendly: yes
Loveable: yes
Caring: yes
Sweet: yes
Dorky: the biggest dork.
Blunt: nope

i wonder...

probably just one thing that i don`t like... i miss her like a lot.. i talked to shannon about it already; i just need to talk to her about it later because it`s killin` me. i don`t know if she realizes i miss her this much its crazy.. it seems like i haven`t talked to her since; pssh.. almost a month or two now??? i don`t know; thats all really... i just i miss her.

is that to me?

k lemme try this survey...

Seven things in your room:
1. photos
2. glow in the dark stars
3. diaries/journals
4. clothes
5. tv/dvd/vcr
6. laptop
7. comfy bed

seven things you say most:
1. dang
2. hiii
3. fo'real
4. are u serious
5. freakin'
6. awwww
7. ohhh my gosh

Seven Things You Can't Live Without:
1. clothes
2. moisturizer
3. vaseline lip therapy
4. money
5. car
6. laptop
7. cell
(just THINGS right? nothing like family/friends cuz they're not things heehee.)

Seven Things You Want To Do Before You Die:
1. find that significant someone
2. go to a concert
3. be on national tv
4. sky dive
5. travel
6. be a mother
7. swim with dolphins

Seven Other Things:Do You:
Drink? occasionally
Smoke? nah
Do drugs? nope
Read the newspaper? sometimes but not recently
Pray? yes
Have a Job? i wish.
Wish on Stars? yep, i even wish at 11:11

Have you ever:
Gone skinny dipping? nahh
Had surgery? no
Swam in the dark? yeah
Been to a Bonfire? yep, last week
Ran away from home? nope but i've felt like it
Played strip poker? nope
Pulled an all nighter? yessirree

Seven Things In The Last 24 Hours:
Have You...
Cried? i teared up at shannon's when she sang "that's what friends are for" that song is a tear jerker for me!!
Sang? yep
Been kissed? haha yeah the last person was my sister hehe good night kiss
Felt stupid? HAH YEAH! a
Talked to an ex? no
Missed someone? YESS =/
Hugged someone? yep! the homies =]

THIS IS THE FIRST SURVEY I'VE EVER FILLED OUT

[ .01. ] first name: Melissa
[ .02. ] middle name: C.
[ .03. ] last name: F_____
[ .04. ] nickname(s): mel, les, meles, melester, melissie, meatballmelissa, melissafer, melisska, melly +more
[ .05. ] gender: XX
[ .06. ] birthdate: Nov. 07
[ .07. ] height: like 5'1 and a half
[ .08. ] hair color: dark brown with a tint of dark red =]
[ .09. ] eye color: brown
[ .010. ] do you wear glasses or contacts: nope O_O

ehhh surveys are gay.

mucho fun-o

i had a lotta fun tonight hangin' with the gang =]

well right now i'm bored like no other... it's pitiful, i hate sitting at home with nothing to do... sure i can clean my room but then what? roar.. i wanna go out.. but my mom took my car to work and even if i did have my car i wouldn't be able to go anywhere.. i really need a job.. or i should volunteer.. i don't know i need to do something, anything.. i wish people could visit me.. tonight i wanna go to roxy's cuz her and giving me the "u're supposed to be getting closer with ur graduating glass" lecture is getting to me.... =/ it shouldn't but it is!! roar! but anyways.. last night was def' fun with elaine, tara, denise, lee, alexis, ta'a, kenney, and mike... a lil time at the gym then bowling then pho then wendy's hehe. i love this gang! they're freakin' tight! we're the shiit!!! good times =]

well i guess that's all for now. =]